I See You
by animebooklover14
Summary: John, even if Sherlock doesn't realize it, does see things that the detective from time to time does not. Everything John see's leads them to one moment. Johnlock, with slight angst in it as well.


The first time I saw him I took my time looking at him. The high cheekbones, striking green/blue/silver eyes that seems to know and see everything there was. His unruly hair that was as black as night itself. A thin body, wasn't sickly thin, just thin enough for where it was slightly concerning. He seems to be calculating everything in a single look. I could almost even see the wheels turning in his head. I watched him as he left the room with a click of his tongue and a wink of his eye. It defiantly was a lasting impression.

The next time I really looked at him was at the pool. A bomb strapped to my own chest. His normal sharp calculating eyes wild, I swear I could see fear somewhere in his glance as he turned around to get a full look at me. As I had spent the last few months with him at this point I was getting better at seeing the small expressions he would give off even if he did not know he was showing the emotions himself. I grabbed Moriarty hoping to help him in some way. The snipers stayed on us for a few moments before turning over on to the other man. I had to let go of the enemy no matter how much I wanted to keep him in my grasp. But with Moriarty knowing that he is one of my weaknesses there was nothing else I could do but let go. I'd rather die to save that man then see him dead because of something stupid I would have done. As soon as he ripped off the bomb from my body and I felt his touch I knew he had been frightened. His fingers, normally steady and precise with their movements, were shaking and unsteady. I wasn't really sure what it was between us but this was the moment I saw the scale tipping to just more than friendship.

After that I saw him every day, sometimes letting feelings take over where they probably shouldn't be, but still never looked closer at him until the day of my nightmares. The day of The Fall. I could see that he had been hiding something shortly before I got the call for Mrs. Hudson. I wasn't sure what it was or anything so I never said anything. I put it off as stress from Moriarty. When I ran off thinking that Mrs. Hudson was dying, I left him alone. I blamed myself for that one I should never have left him alone. No matter how much time passed I can never forget coming back to St. Barts and seeing him on that rooftop. The wind gently blowing his Belstaff. I couldn't see his eyes, the eyes that I was often so scared to look into in fear they would see something I had hidden away. But his hair was still wild as ever. His voice wasn't the calm and collected voice that it always was. It had an edge to it. Fear maybe? But the more I listened the more I seemed to be able to pick up the emotion. There was a tad bit of sorrow and remorse in his words. I'm not sure why he'd be sorry. That man, that wonderful, crazy man, was never sorry, about anything, ever. Why would he be sorry this time? He couldn't have lied, not about how smart he was, no one could. I've seen him do everything since moving in, there will be no way someone could convince me that he is a fraud, that he lied to me, to everyone. I felt my heart stop when he jumped. Then when I saw him on the ground I felt my whole world fall apart. I couldn't get there fast enough to try to keep him alive. By the time I had gotten there, no pulse. There was nothing. Nothing for both of us to cling to. My world had gone black. Nothing seemed right anymore.

Two years, two very long years since I had seen him. I took a walk in the park near my own flat since it was a random day off from the clinic. The weather was oddly sunny so I thought it would be a nice idea. As I walked around it wasn't that busy at the time, yet someone bumped into me on the path. I didn't pay any attention. My mind was wondering. I continued to walk until I was at the edge of the park. No one was around this area so I sat on the bench and stared into the small lake that was in front of me. Only a short time passed before someone sat down next to me. The whole area was basically empty so why did this person have to sit next to me, it was irritating me. I wanted to be alone with just my thoughts, that's why I came here. I clenched my fist slightly until I heard the voice. _His_ voice. The voice I've heard every night in my dreams since the fall. I didn't look at him, I couldn't, in fear I was just going crazy. Until he spoke again, calling out to me, then I knew I wasn't. He said something about losing my edge. I finally looked over. His head was facing me, looking down slightly at me like he was committing it all to memory. I could see the excitement and joy in his face but I could also see the apologetic look in his eyes. My fist still clenched I reacted on impulse, punching him square in the jaw knocking him off the bench and onto the grass. He muttered something about deserving that as he rubbed his jaw. I took in all his details all over again, just like I did the first day we met. The eyes, hair, cheekbones all of it. His body was a little thinner then what it was when I last saw him. His eyes, slightly hollowed out, his hair had lost some of the luster it once held before but he seemed to be alright for the most part. A wave of relief flooded me I knew I forgave him already. I couldn't help it, I'd get my answers later, it didn't mean I wasn't angry about it though. I held my hand out to help him up. He took it, and as I pulled him up I pulled him into a hug. He didn't do anything at first, then slowly he put his arms around me as well and held me close muttering apologies in my ear.

I saw him every day after that. I moved back into 221B Baker street to be near him. Sometimes I'd just walk around the flat if he wasn't in eyesight to make sure he was there. I knew that he knew what I was doing yet he didn't care. He just continued on doing his experiments and the cases we were getting. Everything seemed fine again, until I got shot. I took a bullet for him, I knew I always would if there was a need to. I woke up in the hospital bed and looked up at him. He looked far more worse for wear then I had seen him. Hair sticking up literally everywhere, eyes looked dead to the world with sorry and grief. He didn't say anything at first, the only reason that I knew he recognized that I was awake was the fact that he squeezed my hand and never stopped. I squeezed back of course, trying to convey in something less than words that I was alright, even if I was here. A simple word crossed his lips, why. He didn't understand why I would take a bullet meant for him. Of course he wouldn't, he didn't understand emotions well, he has them yet he pushes them to the back part of his mind. I smiled softly rubbing my thumb over the back of his hand and told him. I told him why I put his own health and safety in front of my own. It was because I loved him, loved him more than any words or actions could show. If my actions at least kept him out of harm's way, then I was happy. He looked at me for a few moments, I could see the wheels in his head spinning again, he was working something out. Before I could react though he leaned down and kissed me. The kiss was soft, almost like he felt he'd hurt me even more if he acted any farther. He broke the kiss and gave me a glimpse of one of his true, happy, smiles. I knew I would never be able to get enough of this man now.

Time past by and I memorized everything I could about him. I couldn't help it, I knew so much already but, there was always more to learn. I quickly learned many things about him that he was willing to share, and others that I had to find out for myself. He loved to cuddle, no matter the time of day, he would start coming over by me after an experiment or even after we had just woken up and just curl up next to me. He counted my heartbeats to help him focus, a small strange habit but it was something that didn't totally surprise me. He'd also apologize when we'd have a row in his own odd ways too. Things I saw him do just for me, and it made me love him more and more. He still would take me by surprise often. Most of the time of course it was when we were on a case, but once in a while it was romantically as well. He wasn't the best at romance, I knew that back when we first lived together. He was getting much better though. It even took me by surprise when he asked me to marry him. We had just gotten off of a case and when we walked back into the flat it was covered in lit candles, literally everywhere. I was baffled on why Mrs. Hudson, or so I thought, would do such a thing but he didn't say a word about it, only a small smile gracing his lips. There was some take out from Angelo's on the table, our favorites, it was all very odd but I wasn't going to push it. I just embraced the romantic atmosphere and started to eat. When I was almost done he started talking. He told me about how we first met and what he felt then, he told me how hard it was to be away after The Fall. He continued, nervously, until he knelt down next to me with a ring. He apologized encase the proposal was not done correctly. I shut him up though, with a kiss. I quickly took the ring, as a few tears fell from my eyes, admiring how stunning the simple silver band looked.

That is what brought us both to where we are today. Our wedding, I'm getting to marry the best and greatest man I've ever met. The only man, the only exception, I will ever love. He, in is longer more Victorian style tux, while I'm standing here with a stupid smile on my face. It took a long time to get here, and no one really saw it coming. Well I guess we are the only ones that didn't see it coming. But everything, throughout all this time, has worked out for the better. The man I love may not show his emotions well, even if he does have them. But, as much as he wants to hold them back he can't. At least not from me. Because I see him. I see Sherlock Holmes for both who and what he is.

* * *

 **This was super fun to write and ended up a bit longer then I thought it wound when I had started it. I may make a second chapter of Sherlock's POV if people are interested. I hope you all like it though!**


End file.
